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kneellin
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Name: 林祥永
Location: Crystal Lake, Illinois, United States
Gender: Male
Interests: Photography, music, outdoors, culture, fine art, basketball, Xbox, public health
Expertise: Sarcasm, guilt, kindness
Message: message me
Member Since:
12/8/2004
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| Author's Note: There are several entries not yet complete, but will be completed in the next few weeks. I appreciate your readership.
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| Woodstock, IL
After receiving my birthday present - a new computer - I have the luxury of sorting through old files and deciding which ones are worthy to be transfered and clutter my new computer. Of course, I went through the most important file types first - music and pictures. I've been good about controlling my urge to make my new computer a juke box, like my old computer was eventually relegated to be, but with pictures, it's difficult because my new laptop has such a unique and artisitc mechanism of displaying pictures and sharing them with others. Through some random process, even more unfair than the flipping of a coin, I decided to go through the pictures of my trip to Cambodia first.
 In looking over the pictures, I was first astounded that I took 300+ pictures, and that's not couting the pictures that my friends took and the print pictures that I have not yet scanned. But as I sorted through them, I understood why I took so many pictures; the area and the monuments that are still there inspire amazement, wonderment and introspection (which I am demonstrating along with hunger). The other reason why I took so many pictures was because I didn't know when I would return, if I would be able to go back at all, which begs the question - do we need pictures to have memories or are pictures a way of showing off (a.k.a. sharing, but of course there are different sentiments behind these two actions which we can discuss at a later time).
 I was fortunate to travel with two friends, which made the exploration of this once magnanimous city more enjoyable. Along with stumbling upon a Landmine museum that was very heart-wrenching, it was just nice to have someone there to talk to, to imagine the life of people living in this city-state, to contemplate how these palaces, these museums, these memorials were built, and to discuss the current implications of the tourist attraction on the slowly developing city that directly borders this site. Of course, this trip was not all intellectual discussions, but my friends made this discovery more memorable. So the question is, do I remember it more or less with all these pictures? Pictures, which I concede when given an incalculable amount, is difficult to look through completely. Are my memories more or less vivid with pictures, and am I afraid of simply forgetting the memories or the details of these memories?
 In looking again at these pictures, it's difficult to truly convery the spectacle, the awe of palaces, places of worship with ornately ingrained stone decorations, large faces on top of tall gates and buildings, steps that lead the adventurer up towards what seems to be heaven. These are memories I have of Cambodia, or more spcifically, of Angkor Wat, which is not representative of Cambodia as a whole. I do remember some specific details, with the help of the pictures, and mostly, it was embarassing moments where I try to inject humor and enjoyment. This also goes back to why I started my blog, which was to share stories of my adventures and my perspective on culture and life that I have learned through my adventures, in hopes that people (Justin) will enjoy and learn something.
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| Woodstock, IL
I am always amazed at how when I prepare to be depressed, events happen that cause me to focus on living and life at that moment, which makes me feel shameful for wanting in the first place to be depressed. It seems weird to "want to" be depressed, and it is unhealthy, but sometimes, your feelings and your thoughts just go towards a not-so-happy place. I guess if I wanted to, I could have worked hard to be depressed - which can be applied to everything in life from life aspirations to math - but God, or my guardian angel sends me a reminder, saying "Hey! You're breathing. You're thinking. You're walking. You're living" to try and snap me out of it. That day, the day, yesterday, March 22nd, I went running out on the street for the first time in a long time. It was a great feeling, despite my inability to continuously run. Sometimes, we forget the simple pleasures in life as we're striving to reach our goal - to be the next Edward Norton or the next Dakota Fanning or whatever it is. The human mind and emotion continues to fascinate me. Heroes that brave through a difficult situation are praised for their actions and kids idolize them for their strength, but it almost puts them in a situation where they are not able to seek help for themselves because that may hint at un-heroic, un-brave actions. That's why I will always respect the soldiers currently serving, and also your everyday service men, who go to work willingly putting their lives on the line.  Sometimes I wish I would have a sign in life, not necessarily telling me what I would be expecting along the way, but at least pointing to the final destinations, much like this direction sign-post on the mountains of Whistler. I knew where I would end up if I followed one of the paths, but I didn't know whether the path was strewn with black diamond trails, bumps, ungroomed trails, or wilderness. It's that security of knowing the finality that removes the fear, but why are we afraid and why are we so afraid to face those fears.
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|  | Currently Watching
Casino Royale (Widescreen Two-Disc Special Edition)
By Daniel Craig, Eva Green, Mads Mikkelsen, Judi Dench, Jeffrey Wright, Giancarlo Giannini, Caterina Murino, Simon Abkarian, Isaach De Bankol�, Jesper Christensen, Ivana Milicevic, Tobias Menzies, Claudio Santamaria, Sebastien Foucan, Malcolm Sinclair, Richard Sammel, Ludger Pistor, Joseph Millson, Daud Shah, Clemens Schick
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Woodstock, IL
we are often faced with decisions, some simpler than others, and the difficult decisions always are tied to the most impactful consequences, but if we continue to delay these decisions, does the consequences not increase in intensity?
I have moved away from a travel log, which this site was started out as. It has been more of a transcription of my personal journeys, usually through the maze of my mind and not to some dreamed of place. I plan to travel more, part of a new beginning that I constantly tell myself.
Is it harder to accept your place in life, when you feel like your place is elsewhere or when you don't agree with the place you've landed?
Life is like a fake piano keyboard on the ground in the middle of a sprawling industrious city: you never know what crazy, imaginative, decorative thing is out there to attract tourist, residents and to just make the normal part of life abnormal.
Life is also like a box of chocolates.
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| LAX, Los Angeles, CA
I don’t understand movies that glamorize the traveling life.
For one thing, airports are the worst places to meet people. With the increased
restrictions and security, people often come to the airport in their most
comfortable clothes, and put on the most comfortable outlook – disheveled hair,
no make-up, droopy shoulders from carrying all the items that could not fit
into their luggage. People are also apprehensive and tense – they don’t like to
be in this state of instability, being almost home but not yet home and sitting
next to someone that smells of fish or speaks as if they lived continuously in
wind tunnel. With the development of cell phones, you don’t see crowds around
pay phone machines and lines leading up to them; rather, you see people having
the phones close to their ears or face, waiting for a call, wanting to call or
just looking for comfort from something that familial (the address book). It
could also be cold in the airport and the radio frequencies radiate cells, providing
bodily warmth, or people may have intentionally purchased the combustible
batteries for the same reason. Of course, shortly after I commented on the attire of people at airports, a man in a casual suit walks by and a girl wearing knee-high black leather boots, skirt and black-and-white checkered jacket sits down next to me. Perhaps it's God making a comment on my comment, that I shouldn't always generalize, but if it gets an attractive girl to sit down next to me, then maybe I'll do it more often.
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